East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
