Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
