I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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