So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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