my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
