No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
