I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
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You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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