and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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