I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
