How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
