i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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