we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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