Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
