I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
