love makes seman taste better
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
