Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
