these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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