No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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