Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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