Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
