You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
