You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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