Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
