I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
