The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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