Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We are two peas in an std pod
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
