Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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