You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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