It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
