there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
