Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
