This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
