kristin has been a bad kristin
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
