dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
MIDGETS
????
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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