Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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