Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
