it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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