i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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