i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
