Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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