I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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