those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
