I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
