i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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