Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
