i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
