***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
