pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
MIDGETS
????
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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