I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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