so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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