You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
