Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
