people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
