Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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