end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
