Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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