I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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