told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
