i barfeds in our rink
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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