tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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