i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
