she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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